I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
