Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
