so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
