i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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