walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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