he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
