Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
