Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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