Whod you bang
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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