How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
