just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
