Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Randomize
