She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
