Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
