It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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