wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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