new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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