Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
