I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
