Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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