He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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