you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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