Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Help me help you realize you are a moron
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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