ya dads aren't the best wingmen
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
