Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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