well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Houston, we have a blender
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
