Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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