Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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