Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize