I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
