i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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