White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
How's work?
Spinning.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
