Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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