I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
