So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize