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I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
