you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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