ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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