Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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