Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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