brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I can't put those talents on a resume
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
