Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
