I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
