Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
