Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
