So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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