The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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