I'm going to jail i love you
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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