Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
im six kinds of drunk right now
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
