The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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