fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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