the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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