oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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