big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
