I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I wish you could order shots online.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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