You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
