Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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