My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
