it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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