Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
