Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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