The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
