people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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